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I'll place the fun stuff under a cut.
I read this in a little over seven hours, or just over a hundred pages per hour, which about my usual speed, so I didn't race through it, but I wasn't reading with meticulous attention to detail or anything either.
I enjoyed the book. As much as I hate to see the series come to an end, hey, it could be worse...we could be waiting for book twelve from an author who's too busy dying to write.
This was not a fun and happy trip through another year at Hogwarts, but never the less, it was a good read and I think Ms. Rowling did a bang up job of keeping the plot moving along, bringing the loose threads together, and concluding on a high note.
Enough of you have done real reviews, so I'm doing this one as a send up for my own, and hopefully your, amusement.
I've said from the end of book one that Harry owes Snape the world's biggest apology ever. Unfortunately, Harry didn't get the chance, but he at least knows he should have, and he honors him in memory and deed at the Battle of Hogwarts and then again with the naming of his youngest. So, you may be dead Severus, but you are not forgotten and you aren't remembered as just another Death Eater. No, Snape wasn't terribly nice to Harry, but he always stepped up and protected him despite his feelings.
She bested you with strength, me with steel, and she must have out thought Vizzini...the woman who can do that can plan my castle onslaught any day. Now, where did we put that bag of holding she made as a summer project?
From the beginning, then.
Mr. Riddle and the rest of the Legion of Doom are planning the assault number four Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey, and Snape and another Lotus Eater are arguing over whose info on when the Order of the Trans Am is moving Harry to a new location is the Real Thing (TM) and which is Coke II.
Meanwhile, on another channel, Vernon and Petunia are being themselves and Dudley is being a real human. Harry realizes his cousin and him have had almost zero contact in the two years since the dementor attack, despite nominally sharing a residence, but the little contact they've had hasn't been the usual (for them), and here Dudley is showing gratitude and perhaps even caring towards his cousin. Dudley's decision forces his parents hand when we refuses to stay at the house. We won't comment on the absurdity of them staying. Especially in light of the fact that Petunia Dursley nee Evans is well aware of exactly what could happen.
Next, Auror, Old Coot, and all around Bad Motherfucker Number One (aka Mad Eye) shows up and explains to Harry the change of The Plan. Harry is not happy. Him risking himself is one thing, but his friends volunteering to die for him isn't his idea of a party he wants to attend. Hermione once again demonstrates why she's one of the top ten most dangerous people on the planet by using her brain, with which she can kill you. Harry and Hagrid depart No. Four the same way they showed up, at the beginning of book one...on Sirius Black's Triumph.
Much hilarity ensues, in which Hedwig is killed (and god damn Harry, why the hell didn't you just let her out and give her a message to fly to the Burrow and wait?), Harry loses his prized possession, and the sidecar in which he was riding becomes detached due to material stress (as Vimes would point out, it was destined to happen...wizards don't think much about the side effects of what magic does). Harry attempts to levitate the object in which he's sitting...this sort of works...long enough to Hagrid to grab him. He makes some Death Eaters sorry they showed up, but not sorry enough, which brings him to the attention of Voldemort his own bad self, who can fly just because he damn well feels like it, and screw you guys with your wussy ass brooms. Hagrid activates the James Bond mods to the bike and they narrowly escape from SPECTRE.
Back at the Burrow of Weasles, we find Molly fretting over the fact that her twins are out there polyjuiced to look like Harry deliberately playing decoy. Gred and Forge are likely having the time of their lives right up to the point where George gets his ear sliced off by a Septumsempra curse a la Snape. Considering that Snape wasn't actually aiming at him at all, as we later learn, he's lucky he didn't lose his whole damn head.
Note to Darth Voldemort: In the future, tell Death Troopers to aim at each other...they'll inadvertently shoot the Order of the Rebellion troops instead.
George, being who and what he is, immediately starts making puns about his loss. Fred, being his complement in every way, encourages this and helps.
We learn that Auror, Old Coot, and all around Bad Motherfucker Number One, Mad Eye has fallen, literally and figuratively to enemy fire. You have to wonder, were both eyes concentrated on the rapidly approaching ground?
Next on HPO: Planning a wedding while the Dark Lord of the Sith squash the Old Republic.
Harry meets Luna's father, Xenophilius...lover of aliens? That's about right. If he weren't a wizard, he'd be one of those tin foil hatters publishing newsletters linking cattle mutilations, Elvis sightings, and government conspiracy theories and mailing it out to his thirty Nutters in Arms around the UK. He's wearing Grindelwald's symbol, which pisses off Krum (who has the greatest fucking line in that whole chapter...what's the point indeed...). Every time Grendel is mentioned, I keep expecting Beowulf to show up. That or Semirhage. Said symbol is apparently old wizard lore predating the wyrm.
No one expects a Nuclear Tipped Otter! The reception ends early; the guests don't like the band (The Ministry of Death) it seems, and they all go home.
Somewhere in all of this, Harry is kind of a dick. Ginny should totally slap some sense in to that boy. He needs to get laid. She can take care of that too, while she's at it.
Ron puts his pet ghoul in a dress and gives it hairy warts. It thanks him.
Hey, let's do go clubbing! Off to Tottenham Court we go, for a late night latte with a side of Death Blossom.
Our Heroes set out on the quest for the Holy Grail, though they don't know it. Instead, the Jabberwocky shows up. He makes them sandwiches and soup, after relating his tale of how he came to be such a twisted little Kreacher.
Kreacher fetches the Thief of Blackdad, who informs them that Malodorous Umbridge has taken what he had rightfully stolen.
Harry sends the dog back home after smacking him on the nose with a rolled up newspaper.
Next up: Assault on the Ministry by a Trio of Terrorists!
The terrorists in question set off explosives, accessed sensitive government documents, impersonated high level members of the Ministry, stole at least two precious artifacts, damaged facilities, passed along sensitive information, and freed many fellow undesirables and potential terrorists! Kids these days...what are we going to do with them?
Next week, our heroes go on the move in the Mobile Bat Cave! Stay tuned, same Bat Time, same Bat Channel!
This week on Treasures in the Attic, we look at ancient jewelry, cursed and imbued with the Dark Lord's own soul! How much is it worth and at which parties will it accent your robes perfectly, and just how bad will that scar look when you take it off? Find out after this break, in which Ron goes crazy, runs off, and Hermione shows why the Hat put her in Gryffindor House despite making Socrates, Plato, Aristotle, and Rowena Ravenclaw look like total morons!
Harry Simpson says "Doe!" and finds a magic sword in a lake. Weasley proves that he's king after all and takes the sword from the lake in the process of pulling Potterman out of the pool and taking the Kryptonite necklace off of him. He then embeds it in the stone between his two best friends, Hermionevere, and sir Harrylot. Merlin's Y fronts are brought in to it.
Looney Lovegood lives in a birdhouse. The bottom is lined with old newspapers. The perch is built of old dynamite and eventually explodes, after our Trio of Fearless Librarian Botherers learn about the Legend of Old Stuff that No One Really Believes In. Harry happens to have one in his pocket.
Harry, in a fit of pique will now break a Taboo and tell Voldemort to go fuck himself, to which Voldemort says, no, Fuck YOU. Fenris arrives, and Ragnarok is unleashed. Fortunately, the chaos is contained in Harry's head, which blows up to beachball sized proportions, which is convenient as his captors needed something to chase other than their tails.
The Albino guarding the entrance to the Pit of Despair lacks a wheelbarrow, but has a really impressive tail. Hermione gets to learn some more magic as she experiences the Cruciatus Curse. We expect at least three roles of parchment on how that made you feel. And please, be honest...this is for posterity. Dobby comes for a visit to say hi to his old master, and drops a chandelier on her head just for old time's sake. She then proceeds to give him a very expensive knife as a parting gift. Harry rescues the Keymaster, mean while, Voldemort has killed the Gatekeeper and anyone in the general vicinity because that's just how he is when his PMS is flaring, so Goezer will be Sir Not Appearing in This Book, and we won't be roasting marshmallows over the remains of London. Luna and the Hook Holder are rescued as parting gifts. Draco once again learns that applying fire to pottery only makes it stronger in the process.
Dobby is buried in his best suit, with full honors. Harry talks to the last person who's seen Keyser Souze and is still alive, and makes a deal with the little devil. The Keymaster tells Harry how he makes keys that open doors to anywhere.
Meanwhile, back at Hogwarts, Palpatine is violating Yoda's crypt and stealing his light saber.
Butch and Sundance team up with Bonnie and Clyde for the robbery to end all robberies. In this thrilling episode, we find the Holy Grail hidden in a cave protected by goblins and a dragon. Armed with their Thompson Trench Brooms and a bad attitude, they hold the place up, steal the Grail, and then take it over the threshold on the back of the dragon, after which the temple collapses. Eventually, Dr.s Jones and their female accomplice jump from the dirigible and having lost Excalibur, find themselves in need of something even more destructive than a fire breathing dragon.
Summer vacation is over, so it's time to head back to school. Unfortunately, they're late and the hall monitors are pissed. Fortunately, they find an empty bar whose proprietor is the former headmaster's bother. It turns out the former headmaster was a bastard, yes, but not exactly for the reasons they thought.
The Underground Railroad sneaks them in to the Room of Convenient Plot Devices, and the Woman in Black starts planning their assault on the castle they're already in. They proceed to Have Fun Storming the Castle. It took a miracle. Sybil foretells a Huge Fucking Headache in your future. Here, have a ball. Fred buys a farm.
Meanwhile, Harry finds out he's a Ghost Whisperer and gets all smooth with Ravenclaw's only daughter. She gives it up to him. The Bloody Baron is still jealous.
The Evil Empire has parked the Death Snake in the forest moon of Hogwarts orbit and is awaiting the surrender of the Alliance of the Burning Chicken.
Ron impersonates a very large snake to impress Hermione, and they go chill in the Chamber of Secrets. They were gone an awful long time for a couple who were just looking for the corpse of a rotting basilisk, considering they already knew where it was. I suspect Hermione's secret isn't any longer.
Harry gets a tiara, and then gets fired up when it gets all destroyed. The Holy Grail finds itself an unwitting victim of a basilisk with a tooth ache.
Gee, a kid with a wand and a twig can open the Whomping Willow, and the Marauders, in all their brilliance, went and turned themselves into other things because they couldn't figure this out.
Harry decides it's time to have dinner, and he's in the mood for grilled snake steaks. He instead finds Snape with his brains leaking out all over the floor. Harry mops up the remains for desert. He never gets his grilled snake.
Snape's life: Dude, totally sucks to be you. I'd have broken that little twat's shoulder too, thinks Harry.
Like tears in the Rainfall...the Snitch opens up and Harry finds the second of the Items now in his possession. He wanders up to Voldemort's campsite, after telling the guards that he's not the druids they're looking for, and says hi. Voldemort decides he's tired of looking at that scruffy head of hair and the scar everyone mocks him over, and unleashes a BFG to the face. Harry dies.
Heaven is apparently accessed by way of King's Cross Station. Harry Meets D-dore there and they hang for a bit making fun of an ugly baby someone left on the platform. D-dore blows Harry's mind and tells him that what'll really bake his noodle is when he asks himself if he'd still have broken it if D-man hadn't said something about it.
Being dead sucks, Harry comes back.
Draco's mom has got it going on. Harry pretends to be a rag doll. Hagrid cries on him.
The Riddler gloats, and Batman suddenly disappears. He's all ZOMGWTFBBQ?!? His pet snake meets Neville. Neville's kind of pissed about having been set on fire, so the snake's got to go.
Molly shows Bellatrix why she's a mom and Bella's wasting away as an unmarried spinster. Fights between family are always so ugly. Bellatrix dies of shame.
Voldemort is finding out the hard way that the Transfiguration Prof wasn't the D-man's assistant headmistress just because she's cute with that bun in her hair. He gets kind of pissed when the chick most likely to give it up to him gets an early retirement.
Yo, Riddle me this, whose Schwartz is bigger? It's just you and me, V, I done gone and whacked all yo' Soul Ho's. You got no backup, and you're holding my wand, mother fucker. Give it back.
Oh, you want proof? Sure thing, just try and USE it on me. Go ahead. I triple dog motherfuckin' DARE you.
Oooh...that's gotta hurt. But, unlike last time, it's not gonna leave a scar.
Luna plays crazy and Harry heads off to do some thinking. He fixes his firstest ever gun^Wwand and talks to paintings. The paintings talk back.
A bunch of time later:
Harry, Ginny, and the kids they probably can't afford (she IS a Weasley after all) are hanging out panhandling in a train station where they meet up with Ron and Hermione, who probably can afford their kids, since her awesomeness totally blows Ron's loserdom out of the water, and they hang out and pick on Malfoy's balding self from across the room.
I really did like this book, but I just felt the need to do this. I dunno know why. Someday, when Jordan either dies or finishes the Wheel of Time, I may do it as well, but as a whole. No way in hell am I doing this for twelve books.
I read this in a little over seven hours, or just over a hundred pages per hour, which about my usual speed, so I didn't race through it, but I wasn't reading with meticulous attention to detail or anything either.
I enjoyed the book. As much as I hate to see the series come to an end, hey, it could be worse...we could be waiting for book twelve from an author who's too busy dying to write.
This was not a fun and happy trip through another year at Hogwarts, but never the less, it was a good read and I think Ms. Rowling did a bang up job of keeping the plot moving along, bringing the loose threads together, and concluding on a high note.
Enough of you have done real reviews, so I'm doing this one as a send up for my own, and hopefully your, amusement.
I've said from the end of book one that Harry owes Snape the world's biggest apology ever. Unfortunately, Harry didn't get the chance, but he at least knows he should have, and he honors him in memory and deed at the Battle of Hogwarts and then again with the naming of his youngest. So, you may be dead Severus, but you are not forgotten and you aren't remembered as just another Death Eater. No, Snape wasn't terribly nice to Harry, but he always stepped up and protected him despite his feelings.
She bested you with strength, me with steel, and she must have out thought Vizzini...the woman who can do that can plan my castle onslaught any day. Now, where did we put that bag of holding she made as a summer project?
From the beginning, then.
Mr. Riddle and the rest of the Legion of Doom are planning the assault number four Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey, and Snape and another Lotus Eater are arguing over whose info on when the Order of the Trans Am is moving Harry to a new location is the Real Thing (TM) and which is Coke II.
Meanwhile, on another channel, Vernon and Petunia are being themselves and Dudley is being a real human. Harry realizes his cousin and him have had almost zero contact in the two years since the dementor attack, despite nominally sharing a residence, but the little contact they've had hasn't been the usual (for them), and here Dudley is showing gratitude and perhaps even caring towards his cousin. Dudley's decision forces his parents hand when we refuses to stay at the house. We won't comment on the absurdity of them staying. Especially in light of the fact that Petunia Dursley nee Evans is well aware of exactly what could happen.
Next, Auror, Old Coot, and all around Bad Motherfucker Number One (aka Mad Eye) shows up and explains to Harry the change of The Plan. Harry is not happy. Him risking himself is one thing, but his friends volunteering to die for him isn't his idea of a party he wants to attend. Hermione once again demonstrates why she's one of the top ten most dangerous people on the planet by using her brain, with which she can kill you. Harry and Hagrid depart No. Four the same way they showed up, at the beginning of book one...on Sirius Black's Triumph.
Much hilarity ensues, in which Hedwig is killed (and god damn Harry, why the hell didn't you just let her out and give her a message to fly to the Burrow and wait?), Harry loses his prized possession, and the sidecar in which he was riding becomes detached due to material stress (as Vimes would point out, it was destined to happen...wizards don't think much about the side effects of what magic does). Harry attempts to levitate the object in which he's sitting...this sort of works...long enough to Hagrid to grab him. He makes some Death Eaters sorry they showed up, but not sorry enough, which brings him to the attention of Voldemort his own bad self, who can fly just because he damn well feels like it, and screw you guys with your wussy ass brooms. Hagrid activates the James Bond mods to the bike and they narrowly escape from SPECTRE.
Back at the Burrow of Weasles, we find Molly fretting over the fact that her twins are out there polyjuiced to look like Harry deliberately playing decoy. Gred and Forge are likely having the time of their lives right up to the point where George gets his ear sliced off by a Septumsempra curse a la Snape. Considering that Snape wasn't actually aiming at him at all, as we later learn, he's lucky he didn't lose his whole damn head.
Note to Darth Voldemort: In the future, tell Death Troopers to aim at each other...they'll inadvertently shoot the Order of the Rebellion troops instead.
George, being who and what he is, immediately starts making puns about his loss. Fred, being his complement in every way, encourages this and helps.
We learn that Auror, Old Coot, and all around Bad Motherfucker Number One, Mad Eye has fallen, literally and figuratively to enemy fire. You have to wonder, were both eyes concentrated on the rapidly approaching ground?
Next on HPO: Planning a wedding while the Dark Lord of the Sith squash the Old Republic.
Harry meets Luna's father, Xenophilius...lover of aliens? That's about right. If he weren't a wizard, he'd be one of those tin foil hatters publishing newsletters linking cattle mutilations, Elvis sightings, and government conspiracy theories and mailing it out to his thirty Nutters in Arms around the UK. He's wearing Grindelwald's symbol, which pisses off Krum (who has the greatest fucking line in that whole chapter...what's the point indeed...). Every time Grendel is mentioned, I keep expecting Beowulf to show up. That or Semirhage. Said symbol is apparently old wizard lore predating the wyrm.
No one expects a Nuclear Tipped Otter! The reception ends early; the guests don't like the band (The Ministry of Death) it seems, and they all go home.
Somewhere in all of this, Harry is kind of a dick. Ginny should totally slap some sense in to that boy. He needs to get laid. She can take care of that too, while she's at it.
Ron puts his pet ghoul in a dress and gives it hairy warts. It thanks him.
Hey, let's do go clubbing! Off to Tottenham Court we go, for a late night latte with a side of Death Blossom.
Our Heroes set out on the quest for the Holy Grail, though they don't know it. Instead, the Jabberwocky shows up. He makes them sandwiches and soup, after relating his tale of how he came to be such a twisted little Kreacher.
Kreacher fetches the Thief of Blackdad, who informs them that Malodorous Umbridge has taken what he had rightfully stolen.
Harry sends the dog back home after smacking him on the nose with a rolled up newspaper.
Next up: Assault on the Ministry by a Trio of Terrorists!
The terrorists in question set off explosives, accessed sensitive government documents, impersonated high level members of the Ministry, stole at least two precious artifacts, damaged facilities, passed along sensitive information, and freed many fellow undesirables and potential terrorists! Kids these days...what are we going to do with them?
Next week, our heroes go on the move in the Mobile Bat Cave! Stay tuned, same Bat Time, same Bat Channel!
This week on Treasures in the Attic, we look at ancient jewelry, cursed and imbued with the Dark Lord's own soul! How much is it worth and at which parties will it accent your robes perfectly, and just how bad will that scar look when you take it off? Find out after this break, in which Ron goes crazy, runs off, and Hermione shows why the Hat put her in Gryffindor House despite making Socrates, Plato, Aristotle, and Rowena Ravenclaw look like total morons!
Harry Simpson says "Doe!" and finds a magic sword in a lake. Weasley proves that he's king after all and takes the sword from the lake in the process of pulling Potterman out of the pool and taking the Kryptonite necklace off of him. He then embeds it in the stone between his two best friends, Hermionevere, and sir Harrylot. Merlin's Y fronts are brought in to it.
Looney Lovegood lives in a birdhouse. The bottom is lined with old newspapers. The perch is built of old dynamite and eventually explodes, after our Trio of Fearless Librarian Botherers learn about the Legend of Old Stuff that No One Really Believes In. Harry happens to have one in his pocket.
Harry, in a fit of pique will now break a Taboo and tell Voldemort to go fuck himself, to which Voldemort says, no, Fuck YOU. Fenris arrives, and Ragnarok is unleashed. Fortunately, the chaos is contained in Harry's head, which blows up to beachball sized proportions, which is convenient as his captors needed something to chase other than their tails.
The Albino guarding the entrance to the Pit of Despair lacks a wheelbarrow, but has a really impressive tail. Hermione gets to learn some more magic as she experiences the Cruciatus Curse. We expect at least three roles of parchment on how that made you feel. And please, be honest...this is for posterity. Dobby comes for a visit to say hi to his old master, and drops a chandelier on her head just for old time's sake. She then proceeds to give him a very expensive knife as a parting gift. Harry rescues the Keymaster, mean while, Voldemort has killed the Gatekeeper and anyone in the general vicinity because that's just how he is when his PMS is flaring, so Goezer will be Sir Not Appearing in This Book, and we won't be roasting marshmallows over the remains of London. Luna and the Hook Holder are rescued as parting gifts. Draco once again learns that applying fire to pottery only makes it stronger in the process.
Dobby is buried in his best suit, with full honors. Harry talks to the last person who's seen Keyser Souze and is still alive, and makes a deal with the little devil. The Keymaster tells Harry how he makes keys that open doors to anywhere.
Meanwhile, back at Hogwarts, Palpatine is violating Yoda's crypt and stealing his light saber.
Butch and Sundance team up with Bonnie and Clyde for the robbery to end all robberies. In this thrilling episode, we find the Holy Grail hidden in a cave protected by goblins and a dragon. Armed with their Thompson Trench Brooms and a bad attitude, they hold the place up, steal the Grail, and then take it over the threshold on the back of the dragon, after which the temple collapses. Eventually, Dr.s Jones and their female accomplice jump from the dirigible and having lost Excalibur, find themselves in need of something even more destructive than a fire breathing dragon.
Summer vacation is over, so it's time to head back to school. Unfortunately, they're late and the hall monitors are pissed. Fortunately, they find an empty bar whose proprietor is the former headmaster's bother. It turns out the former headmaster was a bastard, yes, but not exactly for the reasons they thought.
The Underground Railroad sneaks them in to the Room of Convenient Plot Devices, and the Woman in Black starts planning their assault on the castle they're already in. They proceed to Have Fun Storming the Castle. It took a miracle. Sybil foretells a Huge Fucking Headache in your future. Here, have a ball. Fred buys a farm.
Meanwhile, Harry finds out he's a Ghost Whisperer and gets all smooth with Ravenclaw's only daughter. She gives it up to him. The Bloody Baron is still jealous.
The Evil Empire has parked the Death Snake in the forest moon of Hogwarts orbit and is awaiting the surrender of the Alliance of the Burning Chicken.
Ron impersonates a very large snake to impress Hermione, and they go chill in the Chamber of Secrets. They were gone an awful long time for a couple who were just looking for the corpse of a rotting basilisk, considering they already knew where it was. I suspect Hermione's secret isn't any longer.
Harry gets a tiara, and then gets fired up when it gets all destroyed. The Holy Grail finds itself an unwitting victim of a basilisk with a tooth ache.
Gee, a kid with a wand and a twig can open the Whomping Willow, and the Marauders, in all their brilliance, went and turned themselves into other things because they couldn't figure this out.
Harry decides it's time to have dinner, and he's in the mood for grilled snake steaks. He instead finds Snape with his brains leaking out all over the floor. Harry mops up the remains for desert. He never gets his grilled snake.
Snape's life: Dude, totally sucks to be you. I'd have broken that little twat's shoulder too, thinks Harry.
Like tears in the Rainfall...the Snitch opens up and Harry finds the second of the Items now in his possession. He wanders up to Voldemort's campsite, after telling the guards that he's not the druids they're looking for, and says hi. Voldemort decides he's tired of looking at that scruffy head of hair and the scar everyone mocks him over, and unleashes a BFG to the face. Harry dies.
Heaven is apparently accessed by way of King's Cross Station. Harry Meets D-dore there and they hang for a bit making fun of an ugly baby someone left on the platform. D-dore blows Harry's mind and tells him that what'll really bake his noodle is when he asks himself if he'd still have broken it if D-man hadn't said something about it.
Being dead sucks, Harry comes back.
Draco's mom has got it going on. Harry pretends to be a rag doll. Hagrid cries on him.
The Riddler gloats, and Batman suddenly disappears. He's all ZOMGWTFBBQ?!? His pet snake meets Neville. Neville's kind of pissed about having been set on fire, so the snake's got to go.
Molly shows Bellatrix why she's a mom and Bella's wasting away as an unmarried spinster. Fights between family are always so ugly. Bellatrix dies of shame.
Voldemort is finding out the hard way that the Transfiguration Prof wasn't the D-man's assistant headmistress just because she's cute with that bun in her hair. He gets kind of pissed when the chick most likely to give it up to him gets an early retirement.
Yo, Riddle me this, whose Schwartz is bigger? It's just you and me, V, I done gone and whacked all yo' Soul Ho's. You got no backup, and you're holding my wand, mother fucker. Give it back.
Oh, you want proof? Sure thing, just try and USE it on me. Go ahead. I triple dog motherfuckin' DARE you.
Oooh...that's gotta hurt. But, unlike last time, it's not gonna leave a scar.
Luna plays crazy and Harry heads off to do some thinking. He fixes his firstest ever gun^Wwand and talks to paintings. The paintings talk back.
A bunch of time later:
Harry, Ginny, and the kids they probably can't afford (she IS a Weasley after all) are hanging out panhandling in a train station where they meet up with Ron and Hermione, who probably can afford their kids, since her awesomeness totally blows Ron's loserdom out of the water, and they hang out and pick on Malfoy's balding self from across the room.
I really did like this book, but I just felt the need to do this. I dunno know why. Someday, when Jordan either dies or finishes the Wheel of Time, I may do it as well, but as a whole. No way in hell am I doing this for twelve books.
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