Surreality TV

I will take an aggressive, but predictable, asshole to share the road with over a panicky, and consequently random, driver any day of the week.

Dear People Who Are Afraid of All the Other Cars On the Road With You:

Don't leave your driveway. Ever.

I don't post much about my commute anymore. What used to be surreal to me is now so normal that not only am I not surprised when someone tries to kill me with their Escalade, I expect it and make sure they understand in advance that I'm the bigger asshole and that I will not be intimidated by their random foray into a lane I already inhabit. This really is my daily commute. Usually both morning and afternoon. Aggressive asshole with no regard for their self or anyone else is just your average DC area driver. Unless there is water from the sky involved, in which case you can add panicky into the mix, making for even more extreme fun.

I expect that sort of behavior from folks in over sized SUVs who think they're god, but lately, I've been getting it from bicyclists. I hate to rain on their parade, but their twenty five pounds of steel and rubber plus their body weight isn't a match for a seventies era Honda Civic, much less modern cars that weigh three times that.

The most egregious example was back in February. I was on Lynn Street (one way, north) approaching the GW Parkway halfway around the blind curve that crosses Fort Myer Drive (one way, south) to the onramp (you can see the light over the bushes on approach, which is nice), when what's right there in front of me going the wrong way in the middle of the fucking road? An idiot on a bicycle of course. This moron didn't merely lack enlightened self interest, he was actively doing shit counter to his very survival. That I didn't hit him was purely due to the fact that there was no car in the lane to my right so I had somewhere to go, because I sure as fuck didn't have time to stop.

If I'd hit that asshole, he'd have been lucky to live. In the process there's a good chance he'd have come through my windshield, potentially killing me in the process. And of course, bicyclists don't have insurance, so assuming no one actually died, my insurance would have had to cover all expenses, leaving me pretty much fucked.

That was pretty much the last time I gave a fuck about a commuter on a bicycle; the idiocy has continued unabated, but usually not quite at that level of suicidally stupid. They can all die in a fucking fire for all I care at this point, and won't be missed. As long as they don't get in my way it's no longer any concern of mine. Their sense of entitlement won't save them when momentum turns them into roadkill.

I don't post much about my commute anymore. What used to be surreal to me is now so normal that not only am I not surprised when someone tries to kill me with their Escalade, I expect it and make sure they understand in advance that I'm the bigger asshole and that I will not be intimidated by their random foray into a lane I already inhabit. This really is my daily commute. Usually both morning and afternoon. Aggressive asshole with no regard for their self or anyone else is just your average DC area driver. Unless there is water from the sky involved, in which case you can add panicky into the mix, making for even more extreme fun.

I expect that sort of behavior from folks in over sized SUVs who think they're god, but lately, I've been getting it from bicyclists. I hate to rain on their parade, but their twenty five pounds of steel and rubber plus their body weight isn't a match for a seventies era Honda Civic, much less modern cars that weigh three times that.

The most egregious example was back in February. I was on Lynn Street (one way, north) approaching the GW Parkway halfway around the blind curve that crosses Fort Myer Drive (one way, south) to the onramp (you can see the light over the bushes on approach, which is nice), when what's right there in front of me going the wrong way in the middle of the fucking road? An idiot on a bicycle of course. This moron didn't merely lack enlightened self interest, he was actively doing shit counter to his very survival. That I didn't hit him was purely due to the fact that there was no car in the lane to my right so I had somewhere to go, because I sure as fuck didn't have time to stop.

If I'd hit that asshole, he'd have been lucky to live. In the process there's a good chance he'd have come through my windshield, potentially killing me in the process. And of course, bicyclists don't have insurance, so assuming no one actually died, my insurance would have had to cover all expenses, leaving me pretty much fucked.

That was pretty much the last time I gave a fuck about a commuter on a bicycle; the idiocy has continued unabated, but usually not quite at that level of suicidally stupid. They can all die in a fucking fire for all I care at this point, and won't be missed. As long as they don't get in my way it's no longer any concern of mine. Their sense of entitlement won't save them when momentum turns them into roadkill.

At least, that's what it felt like yesterday. The only reason I didn't drive home with the top down is because it was still wet everywhere and threatening to rain more, but it was 70^F out there.

It's sunny, almost 70F (and should get to 73ish or so by mid afternoon), and Freitag. I'm thinking, it's a top down day. Probably my last this year considering we're already into November.

It's sunny, almost 70F (and should get to 73ish or so by mid afternoon), and Freitag. I'm thinking, it's a top down day. Probably my last this year considering we're already into November.

If you are afraid to drive in anything but perfect weather?

Please, do the rest of us a favor and STAY THE FUCK HOME!

I hate spending an extra twenty minutes sitting in fucking traffic because ZOMGWTFBBQ!? there's a drop of rain!!!!!

I hate people.

It's not even coming down consistently enough to call it drizzle, but you'd think we were driving in a downpour based on people's reactions.

It used to be that seeing a Mercedes or BMW marque on a car was a sign that you've probably got a huge asshole of a driver in front of you. Lately, that role seems to have been taken over by Lexus drivers.

What is it with these people in their overpriced Toyotas that makes them thoughtless, reckless, and uncaring?

Acura and Infinity drivers don't seem to be any worse than the general population, and maybe the other drivers of German cars have just stopped being assholes to me, since I'm in the club, but Lexus? Nope, it's almost guaranteed that the power suit wearing man or woman behind the wheel drives like they're doing you a favor by magnanimously allowing you on their road.

It used to be that seeing a Mercedes or BMW marque on a car was a sign that you've probably got a huge asshole of a driver in front of you. Lately, that role seems to have been taken over by Lexus drivers.

What is it with these people in their overpriced Toyotas that makes them thoughtless, reckless, and uncaring?

Acura and Infinity drivers don't seem to be any worse than the general population, and maybe the other drivers of German cars have just stopped being assholes to me, since I'm in the club, but Lexus? Nope, it's almost guaranteed that the power suit wearing man or woman behind the wheel drives like they're doing you a favor by magnanimously allowing you on their road.

Dude, the temp reading on the ole thermo-meter this AM was 34F, and you're driving around with the top down. I salute you and your hard core sun worship. Just don't ask me to join in at those temps.