Surreality TV

Seriously, FOUR? It took four hours to drive from Reston to FedEx Field for last night's U2 concert. If they hadn't started late, instead of missing the opening act (Muse, whoever the hell they are) and the first U2 song, we'd have missed half the main act. Google Earth is confirming the route I took as the shortest at 37.4 miles (with an estimated driving time of 46 minutes, ha ha, I gave us two hours) by taking the Dulles Toll Road to the Capitol Beltway and taking the north side of the beltway to the stadium exits for the north side parking lots.

Dear Maryland: Fuck you and your lack of capacity (we were moving fine until we crossed the Potomac, then everything went to shit, and it was primarily normal commuter traffic).

At least it was a good show.

Yet another voice mail module dies. This one lasted three days. At present rate of time in service to death, the next one will arrive already broken.

Here, have something to laugh at while I go on a killing spree:

< Xyzzy > http://jalopnik.com/378838/and-now-your-jalopnik-moment-of-zen
< Xyzzy > "Honey, I don't think our Wall of Death act is thrilling enough."
< Xyzzy > "You're right, baby. Let's strap a basket to the side of your car and STICK A GODDAMN LION IN IT!"

EDIT: It's not even an original failure mode...

IDE_Controller::reset(): isBusy
IDE_Controller::reset(): isBusy
IDE_Controller::reset(): isBusy
IDE_Controller::reset(): isBusy
IDE_Controller::reset(): isBusy
IDE_Controller::reset(): isBusy
IDE_Controller::reset(): isBusy
IDE_Controller::reset(): isBusy
...

Same as last time. And the one before. Gee, I wonder if maybe there's a design or manufacturing problem here.

Yet another voice mail module dies. This one lasted three days. At present rate of time in service to death, the next one will arrive already broken.

Here, have something to laugh at while I go on a killing spree:

< Xyzzy > http://jalopnik.com/378838/and-now-your-jalopnik-moment-of-zen
< Xyzzy > "Honey, I don't think our Wall of Death act is thrilling enough."
< Xyzzy > "You're right, baby. Let's strap a basket to the side of your car and STICK A GODDAMN LION IN IT!"

EDIT: It's not even an original failure mode...

IDE_Controller::reset(): isBusy
IDE_Controller::reset(): isBusy
IDE_Controller::reset(): isBusy
IDE_Controller::reset(): isBusy
IDE_Controller::reset(): isBusy
IDE_Controller::reset(): isBusy
IDE_Controller::reset(): isBusy
IDE_Controller::reset(): isBusy
...

Same as last time. And the one before. Gee, I wonder if maybe there's a design or manufacturing problem here.

That every fucking time I have to deal with Avaya for any fucking reason it makes me want to kill people?

So, the voice mail module in the phone switch (the one that's a whole two weeks old) is fucking dead, as per my previous post. They courier a replacement module out, but it's got a newer major firmware release on it. Fine, whatever.

The software that I have to administer the voicemail? Only works with modules with the same major release number. Great, I'll just pop on over to Avaya's web site and get the appropriate version of the systems admin software. Oh, no I won't.

YOU CAN'T DOWNLOAD SOFTWARE FROM THEM THAT ONLY WORKS WITH THEIR FUCKING HARDWARE!

I've spent over an hour on the fucking phone getting transferred from support group to support group to support group. Our site ID in their database doesn't have any of our actual equipment associated with it. AND NO ONE CAN FUCKING FIX THIS APPARENTLY.

I swear to god, I'm going to drive by the Reston office on my way home and burn it to the fucking ground.

I WAS going to leave work a little early today, since I got up early, but noooo. The fucking voicemail system that just got replaced two weeks ago? Dead as a fucking doornail:

...
IDE_Controller::reset(): isBusy
IDE_Controller::reset(): isBusy
IDE_Controller::reset(): isBusy
IDE_Controller::reset(): isBusy
IDE_Controller::reset(): isBusy
IDE_Controller::reset(): isBusy
IDE_Controller::reset(): isBusy
IDE_Controller::reset(): isBusy
IDE_Controller::reset(): isBusy
IDE_Controller::reset(): isBusy
IDE_Controller::reset(): isBusy
IDE_Controller::reset(): isBusy
IDE_Controller::reset(): isBusy
...

ad infinitum

What the fuck have I done to the universe?

I WAS going to leave work a little early today, since I got up early, but noooo. The fucking voicemail system that just got replaced two weeks ago? Dead as a fucking doornail:

...
IDE_Controller::reset(): isBusy
IDE_Controller::reset(): isBusy
IDE_Controller::reset(): isBusy
IDE_Controller::reset(): isBusy
IDE_Controller::reset(): isBusy
IDE_Controller::reset(): isBusy
IDE_Controller::reset(): isBusy
IDE_Controller::reset(): isBusy
IDE_Controller::reset(): isBusy
IDE_Controller::reset(): isBusy
IDE_Controller::reset(): isBusy
IDE_Controller::reset(): isBusy
IDE_Controller::reset(): isBusy
...

ad infinitum

What the fuck have I done to the universe?

Dr. Can has up one of his 'Dorky Polls' over at Science Blogs, and I had voted for E.

Fuck you, electricity. I came in yesterday to 120F AMBIENT data center (the racks themselves were actually uncomfortable warm to the touch) thanks to a power outage on Saturday that apparently fried one of the components in my AC unit (and hey, that's where most of my day went yesterday), and I just got off the phone with a DoD NOC tech because one of our classified T-1s was showing down on their end. And why was it down? Because the fucking UPS failed. You know, the thing that's supposed to keep it alive? Won't take a charge, won't pass wall power on to the equipment plugged in to it, won't recognize that it has wall current available. All of their shit is now directly plugged in to the nasty ass current this building provides (I'd show you logs from the servers plugged in to the Matrix 5000s, but then I'd feel the urge to jump off a balcony). Not my gear; not my problem.

The fuckheads at Symantec are going up against the god damned wall so fast they won't know what happened until after they've been shot.

I have this nifty little box from Network Appliance. It can haz lotz of dryve spayce! As of right now, I can't back it up. See, I bought a license for my Netbackup server for the Network Appliance module, right as Symantec was fucking Veritas up in every way they could manage.

My license key? Doesn't work with Symantec's system, since it doesn't recognize that Veritas existed prior to acquisition, and hey, why the fuck would existing customers matter? Just getting those fucks to get me a serial number that their web site would acknowledge was valid was a six month ordeal. Now, I just need the actual bits. You know, the software. The software that their serial number is invalid for, according to their fucking portal, so I can't download it (not that it would run, even if it would let me, since it claims my serial number doesn't do what it's supposed to apparently).

I fucking swear, as much as I despise Legato (me and Legato have had a hate hate relationship since their malicious excuse for a backup system ate its index at least once every tape cycle back when I was at NASA, and rebuilding that index took for fucking ever, thanks to the 4 tape libraries each holding several hundred tapes it was supposed to be managing), I'm so ready to call them and ask how much they'll charge to fuck me, since as of right now, it'll hurt less that what Symantec is doing.

I just got off the phone with yet another clueless fucking monkey who still doesn't understand what I want. Gee, Network Appliance and EMC are the two largest storage vendors on the whole fucking planet, and yet, it seems that no one at Symantec know who they are.

The fuckheads at Symantec are going up against the god damned wall so fast they won't know what happened until after they've been shot.

I have this nifty little box from Network Appliance. It can haz lotz of dryve spayce! As of right now, I can't back it up. See, I bought a license for my Netbackup server for the Network Appliance module, right as Symantec was fucking Veritas up in every way they could manage.

My license key? Doesn't work with Symantec's system, since it doesn't recognize that Veritas existed prior to acquisition, and hey, why the fuck would existing customers matter? Just getting those fucks to get me a serial number that their web site would acknowledge was valid was a six month ordeal. Now, I just need the actual bits. You know, the software. The software that their serial number is invalid for, according to their fucking portal, so I can't download it (not that it would run, even if it would let me, since it claims my serial number doesn't do what it's supposed to apparently).

I fucking swear, as much as I despise Legato (me and Legato have had a hate hate relationship since their malicious excuse for a backup system ate its index at least once every tape cycle back when I was at NASA, and rebuilding that index took for fucking ever, thanks to the 4 tape libraries each holding several hundred tapes it was supposed to be managing), I'm so ready to call them and ask how much they'll charge to fuck me, since as of right now, it'll hurt less that what Symantec is doing.

I just got off the phone with yet another clueless fucking monkey who still doesn't understand what I want. Gee, Network Appliance and EMC are the two largest storage vendors on the whole fucking planet, and yet, it seems that no one at Symantec know who they are.

Please die in a fire.

Fuck it, I'm over being polite. If I ever meet you, I'll soak your worthless ass in kerosene and light you right the fuck on fire my self. After I pull your toenails and fingernails out, just to make the soaking all that much more pleasurable.

Then I'll get nasty.

And then, when I'm done with you, me and VZW are going to have a long chat about me paying to receive your unsolicited shit. A "feature" I can't turn off.

Edit: You can turn this off, but it requires talking to a person. In billing, of all places.

All software sucks, all hardware sucks, and telcos make software and hardware look warm and cuddly.