Please Welcome Gasaholics Anonymous Newest Member...

Stephen Colbert.

I was watching The Colbert Report last night, and in a segment, The Truthmeister demonstrated siphoning gasoline (petrol for you Euro types). The only problem is he showed how to do it the wrong way. He started the siphon by sucking the initial gas down the hose. This is dangerous and wrong, and I'll explain how to do it properly.

Unless you like breathing and drinking gas plus whatever sediments have collected at the bottom of the tank, you do not ever suck on the hose. You bring a cloth with you as well as a hose. Insert hose into tank until you hit bottom. Lift the hose an inch or so. Now use the cloth the plug the opening to the tank by wrapping it around the hose, pushing it into the fill hole, and getting it as tight as you can, without crimping the hose's style or possibly even just the hose itself. Have your recieving tank ready at a lower altitude than the tank you're siphoning from. Hold the rag wrapped hose tightly over the fill hole with one hand, and hold the end of the hose up, ready to put it to your lips. Now, take a deep breath in, as much air as you can. Now, blow into the hose as hard as you can. This will pressurize the tank. It won't last, but it doesn't have to, physics tells us that the path of least resistance is how the pressure will be relieved. The path of least resistance is the hose, since you've now inserted the end into the recieving tank. The gas will start to flow, and you didn't just drink a couple onces to do it, and you weren't sucking fumes while getting those ounces to your mouth.

Edit: Pull the cloth out of the fill hole once the gas starts flowing. I meant to mention this originally, but forgot it seems. The reason for this is the same as the reason for putting it there in the first place. It creates a good enough seal to hold enough pressure to force the gas to flow, and it's consequently also a good enough seal to create a light vacuum that will stop the flow too.

Remember kids, smoking while doing this is not recommended.

Please Welcome Gasaholics Anonymous Newest Member...

Stephen Colbert.

I was watching The Colbert Report last night, and in a segment, The Truthmeister demonstrated siphoning gasoline (petrol for you Euro types). The only problem is he showed how to do it the wrong way. He started the siphon by sucking the initial gas down the hose. This is dangerous and wrong, and I'll explain how to do it properly.

Unless you like breathing and drinking gas plus whatever sediments have collected at the bottom of the tank, you do not ever suck on the hose. You bring a cloth with you as well as a hose. Insert hose into tank until you hit bottom. Lift the hose an inch or so. Now use the cloth the plug the opening to the tank by wrapping it around the hose, pushing it into the fill hole, and getting it as tight as you can, without crimping the hose's style or possibly even just the hose itself. Have your recieving tank ready at a lower altitude than the tank you're siphoning from. Hold the rag wrapped hose tightly over the fill hole with one hand, and hold the end of the hose up, ready to put it to your lips. Now, take a deep breath in, as much air as you can. Now, blow into the hose as hard as you can. This will pressurize the tank. It won't last, but it doesn't have to, physics tells us that the path of least resistance is how the pressure will be relieved. The path of least resistance is the hose, since you've now inserted the end into the recieving tank. The gas will start to flow, and you didn't just drink a couple onces to do it, and you weren't sucking fumes while getting those ounces to your mouth.

Edit: Pull the cloth out of the fill hole once the gas starts flowing. I meant to mention this originally, but forgot it seems. The reason for this is the same as the reason for putting it there in the first place. It creates a good enough seal to hold enough pressure to force the gas to flow, and it's consequently also a good enough seal to create a light vacuum that will stop the flow too.

Remember kids, smoking while doing this is not recommended.

Please Welcome Gasaholics Anonymous Newest Member...

Stephen Colbert.

I was watching The Colbert Report last night, and in a segment, The Truthmeister demonstrated siphoning gasoline (petrol for you Euro types). The only problem is he showed how to do it the wrong way. He started the siphon by sucking the initial gas down the hose. This is dangerous and wrong, and I'll explain how to do it properly.

Unless you like breathing and drinking gas plus whatever sediments have collected at the bottom of the tank, you do not ever suck on the hose. You bring a cloth with you as well as a hose. Insert hose into tank until you hit bottom. Lift the hose an inch or so. Now use the cloth the plug the opening to the tank by wrapping it around the hose, pushing it into the fill hole, and getting it as tight as you can, without crimping the hose's style or possibly even just the hose itself. Have your recieving tank ready at a lower altitude than the tank you're siphoning from. Hold the rag wrapped hose tightly over the fill hole with one hand, and hold the end of the hose up, ready to put it to your lips. Now, take a deep breath in, as much air as you can. Now, blow into the hose as hard as you can. This will pressurize the tank. It won't last, but it doesn't have to, physics tells us that the path of least resistance is how the pressure will be relieved. The path of least resistance is the hose, since you've now inserted the end into the recieving tank. The gas will start to flow, and you didn't just drink a couple onces to do it, and you weren't sucking fumes while getting those ounces to your mouth.

Edit: Pull the cloth out of the fill hole once the gas starts flowing. I meant to mention this originally, but forgot it seems. The reason for this is the same as the reason for putting it there in the first place. It creates a good enough seal to hold enough pressure to force the gas to flow, and it's consequently also a good enough seal to create a light vacuum that will stop the flow too.

Remember kids, smoking while doing this is not recommended.

Speaking of addictions to petrol...

I saw a big ole SUV bearing the following plate Tuesday night:

EETS GAS

I'm pretty sure that, yeah, your 70k Land Rover Discovery with the Big Assed V8 does in fact, go through gas like it was free, but hey, it's your wallet.

Speaking of addictions to petrol...

I saw a big ole SUV bearing the following plate Tuesday night:

EETS GAS

I'm pretty sure that, yeah, your 70k Land Rover Discovery with the Big Assed V8 does in fact, go through gas like it was free, but hey, it's your wallet.

Speaking of addictions to petrol...

I saw a big ole SUV bearing the following plate Tuesday night:

EETS GAS

I'm pretty sure that, yeah, your 70k Land Rover Discovery with the Big Assed V8 does in fact, go through gas like it was free, but hey, it's your wallet.

Since we're on the subject...

I'm going to kill someone. I damn near did it this morning.

I was on my way in to work, driving east on VA 267, aka the Dulles Toll Road (DTR), approaching the toll plaza. The left hand lane is the Smart Tag/EZ Pass lane, and it splits into two lanes just before you get to the sensors that read your tag, and I normally stay right, since the left lane has the people coming from IAD merging in just after that (to and from Dulles Airport have dedicated lanes that are free), and then it ends a little after that. Many people in the left middle lane will try and move over into the right fastoll lane at the last minute, but it's a lane change for them, and they will yield to traffic already there (or find themselves paying a fuckload more in insurance for being an idiot), as is good and proper. The guy in that lane wanted to move over, and was slowing down to merge in behind me, which was cool, he signaled, I'd have let him in in front of me just for that, but he was being a good driver.

Next thing we know, from three lanes over comes some asshole in a dinky little mid 90's Civic, who after just missing the guy slowing down to move in behind me locks up his breaks and tries to veer back right when he realizes that I happen to be on just the other side of the guy he just missed. I of course hit the breaks as well. The hole behind me the guy next to me was going to merge into rapidly closes, as the cars behind me are catching up fast, since I just went from ~55mph to ~15mph in a shorter distance than I would have thought possible (I do love my car, but I'm gonna get hit from behind some day by a lesser vehicle, I just know it).

This dickhead puts his phone down, and looks at me like "What the fuck is YOUR problem?" I swear, I damn near just dropped the clutch and floored it. This asshole's brains, assuming there were any actually in there, would have made a nice contrast in light grey on the shiny jet black of my hood, and goddamn if his door wasn't right fucking there. If I couldn't have stopped as fast as I did, he'd have hit me dead center on my right side. If I'd still been driving the Saturn, I have no doubt it would have been totalled, and I'd have been lucky to live when I then hit the big concrete filled poles separating the two fastoll lanes as I started rotating on the approach. I really wish there was a way to convey to this asshole just how close to being murdered with a car he came this morning. I damn near did it without thinking. He tried to kill me. It was an act of careless stupidity on his part, but never the less, at that point, I was in full on adrenaline rush, and my car, being a convertible, weighs 4400lbs and has a rigid frame. His Honda would have crumpled like a fucking bug. If the car just to the right of me hadn't already been slowing down, he'd have rear ended him. It was pure fucking luck that no one died in what would have been instant chaos.

I've been jittery all day because of it. I'm not sure what's bothering me more, what he did, or the reaction I had to force myself to hold in check because of it.

Since we're on the subject...

I'm going to kill someone. I damn near did it this morning.

I was on my way in to work, driving east on VA 267, aka the Dulles Toll Road (DTR), approaching the toll plaza. The left hand lane is the Smart Tag/EZ Pass lane, and it splits into two lanes just before you get to the sensors that read your tag, and I normally stay right, since the left lane has the people coming from IAD merging in just after that (to and from Dulles Airport have dedicated lanes that are free), and then it ends a little after that. Many people in the left middle lane will try and move over into the right fastoll lane at the last minute, but it's a lane change for them, and they will yield to traffic already there (or find themselves paying a fuckload more in insurance for being an idiot), as is good and proper. The guy in that lane wanted to move over, and was slowing down to merge in behind me, which was cool, he signaled, I'd have let him in in front of me just for that, but he was being a good driver.

Next thing we know, from three lanes over comes some asshole in a dinky little mid 90's Civic, who after just missing the guy slowing down to move in behind me locks up his breaks and tries to veer back right when he realizes that I happen to be on just the other side of the guy he just missed. I of course hit the breaks as well. The hole behind me the guy next to me was going to merge into rapidly closes, as the cars behind me are catching up fast, since I just went from ~55mph to ~15mph in a shorter distance than I would have thought possible (I do love my car, but I'm gonna get hit from behind some day by a lesser vehicle, I just know it).

This dickhead puts his phone down, and looks at me like "What the fuck is YOUR problem?" I swear, I damn near just dropped the clutch and floored it. This asshole's brains, assuming there were any actually in there, would have made a nice contrast in light grey on the shiny jet black of my hood, and goddamn if his door wasn't right fucking there. If I couldn't have stopped as fast as I did, he'd have hit me dead center on my right side. If I'd still been driving the Saturn, I have no doubt it would have been totalled, and I'd have been lucky to live when I then hit the big concrete filled poles separating the two fastoll lanes as I started rotating on the approach. I really wish there was a way to convey to this asshole just how close to being murdered with a car he came this morning. I damn near did it without thinking. He tried to kill me. It was an act of careless stupidity on his part, but never the less, at that point, I was in full on adrenaline rush, and my car, being a convertible, weighs 4400lbs and has a rigid frame. His Honda would have crumpled like a fucking bug. If the car just to the right of me hadn't already been slowing down, he'd have rear ended him. It was pure fucking luck that no one died in what would have been instant chaos.

I've been jittery all day because of it. I'm not sure what's bothering me more, what he did, or the reaction I had to force myself to hold in check because of it.

Since we're on the subject...

I'm going to kill someone. I damn near did it this morning.

I was on my way in to work, driving east on VA 267, aka the Dulles Toll Road (DTR), approaching the toll plaza. The left hand lane is the Smart Tag/EZ Pass lane, and it splits into two lanes just before you get to the sensors that read your tag, and I normally stay right, since the left lane has the people coming from IAD merging in just after that (to and from Dulles Airport have dedicated lanes that are free), and then it ends a little after that. Many people in the left middle lane will try and move over into the right fastoll lane at the last minute, but it's a lane change for them, and they will yield to traffic already there (or find themselves paying a fuckload more in insurance for being an idiot), as is good and proper. The guy in that lane wanted to move over, and was slowing down to merge in behind me, which was cool, he signaled, I'd have let him in in front of me just for that, but he was being a good driver.

Next thing we know, from three lanes over comes some asshole in a dinky little mid 90's Civic, who after just missing the guy slowing down to move in behind me locks up his breaks and tries to veer back right when he realizes that I happen to be on just the other side of the guy he just missed. I of course hit the breaks as well. The hole behind me the guy next to me was going to merge into rapidly closes, as the cars behind me are catching up fast, since I just went from ~55mph to ~15mph in a shorter distance than I would have thought possible (I do love my car, but I'm gonna get hit from behind some day by a lesser vehicle, I just know it).

This dickhead puts his phone down, and looks at me like "What the fuck is YOUR problem?" I swear, I damn near just dropped the clutch and floored it. This asshole's brains, assuming there were any actually in there, would have made a nice contrast in light grey on the shiny jet black of my hood, and goddamn if his door wasn't right fucking there. If I couldn't have stopped as fast as I did, he'd have hit me dead center on my right side. If I'd still been driving the Saturn, I have no doubt it would have been totalled, and I'd have been lucky to live when I then hit the big concrete filled poles separating the two fastoll lanes as I started rotating on the approach. I really wish there was a way to convey to this asshole just how close to being murdered with a car he came this morning. I damn near did it without thinking. He tried to kill me. It was an act of careless stupidity on his part, but never the less, at that point, I was in full on adrenaline rush, and my car, being a convertible, weighs 4400lbs and has a rigid frame. His Honda would have crumpled like a fucking bug. If the car just to the right of me hadn't already been slowing down, he'd have rear ended him. It was pure fucking luck that no one died in what would have been instant chaos.

I've been jittery all day because of it. I'm not sure what's bothering me more, what he did, or the reaction I had to force myself to hold in check because of it.