I hate you all and I hope you die...

[jsbowden]

What IS it with people in Northern VA? They have this compulsive need to be complete assholes on the road for no particular reason, and I just can't figure out why.

In the Saturn, I had given up on my turn signals because using them was looked upon as a challenge by other drivers to see if they could fuck you. The turn indicator lever was also far enough behind the wheel that using it was a minor annoyance for me.

The BMW has the lever closer to the wheel, and since it's easy and convenient to signal, I pretty much always do so. This morning I signal to move over from where the DTR (Dulles Toll Road) merges on to I-66 E, and this asshole in a minivan floors it to try and close the hole? What the fuck? Dude, you're in a bimbo box with a dinky 4 cyl. and an automatic that can't make up its mind what gear to be in, and me, well, I've got far more engine than car, I can do 60MPH in second and still not be at red line, and my tranny is as decisive as I want it to be since it's a manual six. I've gotten used to having a lot of ready power, and proceeded to make the point. Asshole in a BMW; yep, that's me.

It was quarter after six. It's not like traffic sucked, everyone was moving. What was this asshole's problem? His problem is that he's typical for here. This is my commute. Every. Day. My fellow inhabitants of the highways and byways are either too busy to actually pay attention and drive, or actively hostile.

The Bug I drove in high school was ugly. It had a white body with blue doors and trunk lid that I migrated from another bug. It had a smiley face in krylon on one door, and a peace sign in krylon on the other. It had a loud ass tuned exhaust. It looked like hell on wheels. It was also avoided by other drivers because it was obvious that I wasn't afraid to hit them with it. No one fucked with me, except for evilxyzzy, and his bug looked worse than mine. Both, mechanically, were in far better shape than anyone who looked at them would ever have guessed.

If I take a hammer and a couple cans of krylon to the BMW, will all the other assholes on the road around here quit fucking with me?

Please?

Comments

[rimrunner.livejournal.com]

Whereas Seattle drivers are actually unconscious.

I can't decide which is more annoying, but I've been in more accidents in Seattle (two of them were people backing into me).

[publius1.livejournal.com]

Obviously, it's all that great ganja.

[larabeaton.livejournal.com]

I think aggressive drivers are easier to deal with than flat out bad drivers. Agressive drivers, you can at least predict what they're going to do. The variety we have around here in Vangroovy are just blissfully unaware of other drivers on the road. They'll do something mindnumbingly stupid and be completely shocked to hear the sound of brakes locking and horns sounding when other drivers have to deal with their stupidity.

[erythrina.livejournal.com]

This is exactly how I feel about driving in Phoenix (aggressive) vs. Tucson (oblivious).

[leighdb.livejournal.com]

I think aggressive drivers are easier to deal with than flat out bad drivers.

Totally with you on this one. I complain about the insanity of L.A. drivers, but at least they, like me, are almost universally in a hurry. Nothing drives me insane faster than getting stuck behind some yahoo dicking around and going 15 MPH under the speed limit.

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? Who doesn't drive at LEAST the speed limit? Especially when the speed limit is 35 freakin' MPH! It's not like I'm demanding you reenact the Indy goddamn 500 here! Does not compute! Argh!

[silmaril.livejournal.com]

You know, that might be an advantage to the Datsun that I had not hitherto considered.

The first advantage is that you can leave a bag of gold in the back seat and probably still not get broken into.

[blueingenue.livejournal.com]

bimbo box

<3

I never did figure out what a burb beater was supposed to be.

[corruptedjasper.livejournal.com]

I think it's either the result of Jamie's krylon & hammer plan for his BMW, or the modern equivalent of his Beetle. The cars the kids drive, as opposed to the cars the parents drive.

Zen driving works also...

[paoconnell.livejournal.com]

Typical Vegas driving situation:

I'm in the middle lane on US 95 or I-15, and need to get in the right lane because my exit's coming up. Some asshole (usually male) keeps blocking my way. I accelerate like I'm trying to pass, he jams it, then I back off and get in the hole that's opened up behind him (because the guy behind asshole usually isn't an asshole).

Mission accomplished. Works almost every time.

Heh heh heh...

[knotheadusc.livejournal.com]

I remember that bug very well...

But it wasn't as obnoxious as the rabbit from Hell!

And I agree, drivers in NoVA are assholes. That's why I'm a stay at home wife.