I hate my physiology...

[jsbowden]

I haven't posted in a while, but hey, my life is pretty boring if you're not me, and since y'all aren't, I try not to inflict that on you.

I am...odd. Those of you who know me know this. Jamie is not a normal person. I have the meds to prove it. Said meds are the problem.

I asked my neurologist to up my dose just before Christmas, because I was not feeling entirely in control. He agreed, and I started on a higher dose a couple days later.

Man, that was a bad idea.

It killed my physical endurance and pretty much flattened me out as a person you might have to interact with.

I've cut my dosage way back on my own, and holy shit, I can take class again and not feel like I'm going to drop dead at the end of it. I can also hold a conversation again.

I'm also irritable and angry at nothing.

Fuck you and your broken chemistry, brain.

All you normal people out there? I just want you to know that I hate you all.

Comments

[carpone.livejournal.com]

What's normal?

[jsbowden.livejournal.com]

Normal responds to stimulants by going faster.

[carpone.livejournal.com]

Definitely not normal then. I need caffeine to stay minimally productive. Without it, I'm a slug. I start my workday with 125mg of caffeine from an energy drink and chase it with 16oz of black coffee. A Diet Coke finds its way in there too.

[jsbowden.livejournal.com]

I was chowing down Adderall at one point and it might as well have been calcium tablets for all the effect it had. I didn't even get the normal ADHD response of slowing down...it was just completely ineffective. I'm not even normal among abnormals, damn it. Normal people would have been looking like the speed freaks they'd have to be to have taken that level of amphetamines.

[leighdb.livejournal.com]

I am not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV, and obviously I don't know all the details here, but: have your doctors considered that your atypical reaction to the drugs they've prescribed you might mean they're treating you for the wrong thing?

I would want a second opinion, myself. Or a third or fourth one, if it came to that.

[jsbowden.livejournal.com]

The med I'm on works, just not as well as it did when I started it. Upping the dose, as you can see, is a cure worse than the disease.

[selki.livejournal.com]

Any way to up it by less? Lower dose pill (or whatever) one day, slightly higher dose the next?

[culfinriel.livejournal.com]

Drugs suck. That is all.

[jsbowden.livejournal.com]

No, drugs are fine if you have a biochemistry that falls within normal tolerances.

[paoconnell.livejournal.com]

Maybe find another psychiatrist that understands ADHD and those meds better.